Ata marie Angel, I really liked the beginning of your story. You used some really good language to help the reader (and me) to picture what your characters look like and what the surroundings looks like. As you get further into your story the descriptive language kind of stops and you are telling the reader what is happening. Maybe you could go back and add some adjectives, similes and more description into this part of your story as well to help paint a picture in the readers mind. Keep it up Angel. Take care, Whaea Cara.
Hey Angel! You already know me. I absolutely lvoe your book, I read it all the time on instagram because it's the easyiest way to access it :) I just want to say, this book is very good, no complaints. If you want to check my blog out go to this link address. Ciao :) https://kpsmiat.blogspot.com/
Kia ora Angel, I’m Amelia from Paihia School. I really like the story you wrote. My friend and I started writing a book called “Tsunami” but it got lost in our google drives somewhere. It took me a long time to actually read the whole thing but I’m glad I got to the end of it. I also liked how you described the fox's parents on the first page. Have you ever seen a fox?
Kia ora Angel, my name is Jade from Paihia School. I really like the story you wrote. My friend and I started writing a book called “Tsunami” but it got lost in our google drives somewhere. It took me a long time to actually read the whole thing but I’m glad I got to the end of it. I also liked how you described the fox's parents on the first page. Have you ever seen a fox?
Ata marie Angel,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the beginning of your story. You used some really good language to help the reader (and me) to picture what your characters look like and what the surroundings looks like. As you get further into your story the descriptive language kind of stops and you are telling the reader what is happening. Maybe you could go back and add some adjectives, similes and more description into this part of your story as well to help paint a picture in the readers mind. Keep it up Angel.
Take care,
Whaea Cara.
Hey Angel! You already know me. I absolutely lvoe your book, I read it all the time on instagram because it's the easyiest way to access it :)
ReplyDeleteI just want to say, this book is very good, no complaints. If you want to check my blog out go to this link address.
Ciao :)
https://kpsmiat.blogspot.com/
Kia ora Angel, I’m Amelia from Paihia School. I really like the story you wrote. My friend and I started writing a book called “Tsunami” but it got lost in our google drives somewhere. It took me a long time to actually read the whole thing but I’m glad I got to the end of it. I also liked how you described the fox's parents on the first page. Have you ever seen a fox?
ReplyDelete(my blog)
ReplyDeletehttp://psameliab.blogspot.com/
Kia ora Angel, my name is Jade from Paihia School. I really like the story you wrote. My friend and I started writing a book called “Tsunami” but it got lost in our google drives somewhere. It took me a long time to actually read the whole thing but I’m glad I got to the end of it. I also liked how you described the fox's parents on the first page. Have you ever seen a fox?
ReplyDelete